Treading a Path of a Freak

Monthly Quote:

"If I were the rain,
Could I connect with someone's heart,
As the rain can unite
The eternally seperated Earth and Sky"
-Bleach Ch17


Something to think about:

One night in your bed, you have a dream. A girl dressed in black. She looks left, right, behind, up, and down. She can only see the infinate black, darkness around her. You decide to ask where you guys are, but your voice isn't coming out. Then you notice she's crying. You'de ask her what's wrong but you evidently can't talk.
Then she turns to you and speaks the simple words "I'm here because I tread the path of a freak."

Message:

Am I a freak? Does wearing chains, spikes, or wanting to dye the tips of my hair blue make me a freak? What the hell kind of world do I live in?
My parents are talking shit about my friends, calling them trash and freaks. They say they don't want me to end up that way. They said that its not a good thing to do, they stand out and there are other ways to stand out than appearance. They said that you look like how you are. They said that you get no where. They said that they know I'm better. That I'de never turn out like them. They say cops follow them around. They say they hang out with people who do drugs, steal, and get arrested. They said that they wear ugly things, always in black. They said they listen to trash music. They said they shop at trash stores like Hot Topic.

Then I guess I'm just another freak.

That really drove them [my parents] off the edge. Me whispering I guess I'm just another freak. Well guess what Fuhckuhs?! When you have grandchildren, I'm gonna buy them clothes from Hot Topic! Hell yaz! I'm gonna dress them up in trash! Not just that, I'll paint their nails black! Now what?!

Ya, this is an argument I just had eith my parents. I cried cause they keep fucking talking trash about my friends. I could mostly do nothing but give hard stares, my dad said that when he was younger, he couldn't even look at his dad's face when he was angry. And that I can just stare right in his eyes. He said he was very offended. He said next time I looked at him like that, he'de take out my eyes. Go right ahead! You'll regret it later. Does anyone know how many times suicide has crossed my mind? I don't care what he does! The moment he snapps, so will I!!!

Edit:

Wells, today is the 21st of January. My green and yellow bird died this morning. And my grey and yellow bird died at about 8:20 pm. Moments ago. About 30 or so minuets before, it was sleeping on the couch and suddenly went 'pee peepeep peep' and I rushed over to it and when I was about to pick it up, it flipped over, leggs streched and eyes closed. I thought it was dead and was gonna call my mom.

We talked a little. And I got a brown bag from downstair. I came up and looked at my bird and saw it was still breathing. Why does god torture things? Why? Is it fun to watch things suffer from pain? It hurt me so much to watch my bird struggle. So my mom gave it medicine and I put him closer to the computer with the blanket he was using. And I checked on him every once in a while. It was real sad when we were moving him next to the computer because she kept trying to stand and would wobble and fall. Finally, the last time I checked on her, I saw she wasn't moving at all. She wasn't breathing.
Why is life so gay? Our blue pareakeet died in November. All three died. We buried them in the same place, next to eachother. The first died in the after noon. The next died in the morning, the last died at night. I will miss you,
Lola, Moe, and Trevor.

Goodbye:

Goodbye, to those who will not be among our world from here after

See ya, to those whom I shall meet again or at the least, once more

I'll miss you, to those who I shan't see anymore for unspoken reasons

And hello, to those who never say goodbye.